Henry Rollins

   I love you
I have no guide to help me
Nothing to protect me from your storm
I felt like an idiot sitting in your car
Your face was so beautiful 
I didn’t think I could love anyone
I love you
Wouldn’t it be great if you would love me
Maybe you would even trust me
I need you
Because life is not enough
I haven’t seen you in over a year
It all came back 
With the force of depression
I still felt the same
I have been thinking of you all day
I feel as though I have nothing
I am alone on the planet 
I know this and it hurts too much
Maybe with you it could be different 
I can’t ask you to want me 
Ill just have to see 
I don’t like rolling the dice again 
It’s hard to load the gun with a picture of your face
Spin the cylinder and pull
All my life it’s been the lonely click    


Sometimes you look at people who have everything and wonder if there’s something deeply wrong with you, because why can’t you have that?

Did you not work hard enough?
Are you not nice enough?
In short, are you not enough?

live through this and you won’t look back

if i give in to my stupid feelings now i’m probably going to hate myself forever. i need to look at this from a new perspective; i need to realize that it’s not as bad as my mind is making it out to be because it’s a lesson and at the end of the day, i’m not the one who’s alone. i have all of you who stood by me even though none of you’ve ever made any promises. words are empty shit ok don’t ever try to talk me into anything ever again. i’ll be ok i just need to get through this phase i’ll be stronger and better off.

today i realized that the people who are loved are the ones who don’t deserve shit and the ones who ‘deserve better’ are always the ones who don’t know any better. i know better now. that’s a start right?

which is worse, getting rejected or being unappreciated? 

i need to save myself i need to save myself i need to stop this bullshit i need to forget forget everything i need to stop dwelling on the past i need to let. it. go. 

99 problems

every time i want to move forward, i stop to remind myself where i came from and i’m just stuck. 

i’m so upset because i don’t want to be in this place i want to be happy and back to where i was when i could fucking trust the person i love. 

“I’m never gonna wait

that extra twenty minutes

to text you back,

and I’m never gonna play

hard to get

when I know your life

has been hard enough already.

When we all know everyone’s life

has been hard enough already

it’s hard to watch

the game we make of love,

like everyone’s playing checkers

with their scars,

saying checkmate

whenever they get out

without a broken heart.

Just to be clear

I don’t want to get out

without a broken heart.

I intend to leave this life

so shattered

there’s gonna have to be

a thousand separate heavens

for all of my flying parts.”

– Andrea Gibson

“I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did. I’m scared of who I am. And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”